randomrabbit's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We look like a photo shoot for Fat Gay magazine The 2 Christmas shopping trips resulted in, rounding down slightly, bugger all presents bought. Already I�m annoyed with the whole pissing business. I have a list in my wallet with everyone�s name on, just nothing written at the side of any of them, except for my auntie, whose only desire in the whole wide world is to own the last 10 episodes of Tenko, apparently. It�ll sit nicely by the Prisoner: Cell Block Hs. Incarcerated women her thing it seems. On three: Lesbian! All the nephews were selfishly born at this time of year too so I need to sort out birthday pressies as well, plus it�s the parents� somethingeth wedding anniversary, and also my mum assures me that a present�s required on the first anniversary of a hystericalectomy. And who am I to argue with a woman with no womb? As it goes I happen to know where I can lay my hands on a woollen uterus, which I thought might be nice for her to sit and reminisce with whenever she�s feeling nostalgic about her lady-bits, or to use as a muff when her hands are cold, but she informs me convention dictates that only Thorntons chocolates and/or flowers should be given on such an occasion. Reasons me and Mark aren�t doing the coast to coast walk next spring: It�s nearly 200 miles and we�re fat, unhealthy, lazy, walk really really slowly and have absolutely no sense of direction whatsoever. All of which would see us lost up a mountain, very much dead and having our genitals feasted upon by hungry bears. But� I really really want to do it. And given that we�re definitely definitely not doing it on account of the deadness etc it would cause, there seems to be an awful lot of emailing about it going on and checking of accommodation on the route �just in case�, and pencilling in time off work. I even bought a handy book on it, which I just happened to stumble across in a second-hand bookshop in Bakewell. Maybe it was a sign. Actually I don't normally buy second-hand books as I know the kind of stuff that gets between the pages of mine and it puts me off slightly � drool when I fall asleep with it, cat, part of the contents of my lunchbox etc. I normally just go in because I like the smell. That sounds weird now I�ve written it down. I have 5 and � days holiday to use before Christmas. I�m this close (making a very small gap between my thumb and index finger) to buggering off somewhere as Kev has a load of days left too, but I really should save. Or just not spend. I just checked flights to Moscow and fortunately they�re far too expensive to tempt me. There�s a cruise to Norway though� I'll be using 1 of my days to go to Walton for Tom�s �surprise� 30th birthday thing. We�re all keeping up the pretence but he clearly knows something�s afoot because he mentioned in Berlin that he thought Emma was planning something, and we all gave quite possibly the crappiest display of mock nonchalance ever by all not really saying anything and finding something clearly fascinating to stare at in our beer or on the floor. We didn't start whistling, which I think we should be grateful for, but I suspect the game's pretty much up nevertheless. I've never checked in to a hotel under a pseudonym before, but since he's the chef there we thought it safest, so if he does check the bookings he'll have no idea at all that I am, in fact, Edward Flouncy-Pratt! Mwahahaha! Steve�s girlfriend is pregnant! This made me happy. She told him, he threw up for 10 minutes, cried for an hour, went out to get another pregnancy test, then phoned us :) 10:59 p.m. - 2007-11-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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