randomrabbit's Diaryland Diary

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2023-12-22 - More a municipal shrubbery
2016-08-16 - Waxin' and milkin'
2012-01-27 - Brown they were and tapered to the ankle
2010-09-29 - Down with the bedclothes up with your nightshirt. Fiddle about. Fiddle about
2010-08-13 - My aunt is made of star dust
2010-05-06 - And also meh
2010-04-16 - I suppose it's too much to ask that you found my trousers?
2010-04-02 - Spaniel racing for dogs
2010-02-09 - Her fingers smelled of Coco Pops
2010-01-26 - Tit
2010-01-22 - Salt my father
2009-12-09 - If I had a hammer I�d re-attach the handle on my wardrobe drawer
2009-11-27 - Dead horse. Flogging thereof.
2009-10-05 - Getting Old Part 802
2009-08-26 - They took all the tits, put �em in a tit museum
2009-07-02 - I have no patience for his elk
2009-06-19 - Gingery but not nutty
2009-06-11 - He drank panther piss and fucked the girls you�re probably married to
2009-06-09 - He was a miserable shitwringing turd
2009-06-03 - Dispensing truth turds
2009-06-02 - You say you bought a pergola
2009-04-03 - If I said you had a beautiful body would you hand me that pencil please?
2009-04-01 - I am a Himalaya I himalate I himalate
2009-02-24 - Get me Norris McWhirter I think it�s a record
2009-02-05 - Plumbing Solutions? That would be a plumber presumably?
2009-02-03 - Transatlantic panty wrecker
2008-12-11 - All around my... oh never mind
2008-12-05 - All around my ham
2008-12-02 - Similar to a Glade PlugIn but instead of Hawaiian Breeze every 15 minutes a squirt of vaporised shit is released
2008-11-25 - Abusing the milk facilities
2008-11-24 - It's only 5 in the morning and I'm right where I work
2008-11-20 - June the Obscure
2008-11-14 - Missed the boat or maybe I caught it and just fell off?
2008-11-06 - He'll? Just a thought
2008-09-24 - Dave drinks Bud because he likes horses pissing on his face
2008-09-09 - Delete my penis will you
2008-08-28 - Bring on the dog turds we�ll make some pies
2008-08-21 - Maybe she�s Muslim and was parking towards Mecca
2008-08-08 - Ich habe angst
2008-08-06 - Soul Sold
2008-07-04 - Hail Keeper of the Beans
2008-06-30 - Dwyle Flonking
2008-06-04 - Butter the monkey
2008-05-23 - I do worry this diary will never be seen as sophisticated
2008-05-22 - Choose My Tea - An exciting new programme from the BBC
2008-05-20 - You could glue a walnut to it?
2008-05-15 - Nothing a pair of scissors can't fix
2008-05-14 - Cyclone Shami Kebab
2008-05-05 - He kept asking me to think of a number then showing me his winky
2008-03-14 - How hard can it be to find 15 people who want to eat a sheep?
2008-02-27 - What kind of stupid shit...
2008-02-21 - If, and I still don�t believe it to be the case by the way, there was such a condition, I�m certain it would have a more scientific sounding name than cauliflower minge. Plus my mum used to make me that for tea.
2008-02-15 - Pam Ayres Pizza and Kebab
2008-02-08 - Those breaded finger things?
2008-02-05 - A friend with cheese is better
2008-01-04 - Two Thousand & Fucking Eight, Eh? Shit.
2007-12-05 - And out it slowly rises, Excalibur-like, one giant fucking turd
2007-11-29 - We look like a photo shoot for Fat Gay magazine
2007-11-23 - If you were locked in a room with Trinny and Susannah and you only had one bullet in your gun, would you shoot yourself?
2007-11-21 - Could we all stop stating the bleeding obvious please?
2007-11-16 - Up Shit Creek but with a paddle� of sorts
2007-11-13 - My jolly spiffing, jape-filled and ultimately fictional boyhood in Reading
2007-11-07 - Having had nothing more adventurous than a small rodent up my bottom, I�m not sure I'm qualified enough to comment
2007-11-05 - What would Dr. Mark Sloan do?
2007-10-23 - Farting in your general direction
2007-09-20 - Just that if it was on fire I�d be more inclined to sit than run
2007-09-14 - Onions is a pi away from opinions and I have neither. Ho ho. Cock.
2007-09-05 - Now with 50% more bollocks
2007-09-03 - My first would have been �I know there�s something in the wake of your smile; I get a notion from the look in your eyes� and then it pretty much went downhill from there!
2007-08-30 - Cranky halfwit tosspot
2007-08-23 - Oh, they're never just a little miffed are they?
2007-08-17 - Have you ever tried to milk a soya bean? Fiddly little nipples!
2007-08-13 - So Long, and Thanks for All the Sausage
2007-08-09 - Are you going to pay for that stuff you've just been merrily fingering Mr. Stein?
2007-07-30 - Come sail your ships around me, and pull your knickers down
2007-07-19 - 3 kinds of sausage
2007-07-16 - Familiarity breeds alpacas just outside Woking
2007-07-08 - Nuddy & an orange hue
2007-07-03 - Aggravate the bucket
2007-07-01 - Regina like vagina? Or Regina like, er, vageena?
2007-06-29 - Distractions
2007-06-15 - Northern Lad
2007-06-08 - Greetings fellow yompers
2007-05-24 - See me, feel me, touch me, heal me
2007-05-16 - Sometimes It's hard to be a bloke
2007-05-14 - All about the little things
2007-05-12 - What was that? That's your arse hole. Will it grow back? No it won't.
2007-05-10 - also...
2007-05-10 - Only when I�m dancing can I feel this free
2007-05-03 - I once bought the Guardian doncha know
2007-05-02 - Something in the woodshed
2007-04-25 - I was once fondled by monkeys. Did I say monkeys? I meant Cliff Thorburn.
2007-04-20 - You're besmirching the man's character calling him a pirate. Mr Matey is, quite clearly, a sailor.
2007-04-17 - Rise proletariat masses, rise against our capitalist oppressors and let us say nasty things about them when they�re out of earshot and piss in their teacups
2007-04-13 - Quick, this woman needs an emergency Bulgarian
2007-04-11 - No don't leave - I've just fondued my testicles
2007-04-04 - Oh I am a lonely drinker, I live in a box of drink
2007-04-03 - Spaceman sitting on a biscuit
2007-03-21 - Texas, Oldham? Isn�t it a Homebase now?
2007-03-14 - What price a good wank?
2007-03-08 - Hairy, sweaty ale music.
2007-03-06 - Can you pee if you're standing on your head?
2007-03-01 - How Apt
2007-03-01 - My Dirty iTune secrets