randomrabbit's Diaryland Diary
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Hail Keeper of the Beans
I haven�t got the internet at home at the moment while I switch providers. My current ones cut me off straight away even though I�m paid to the end of the month and I haven�t actually cancelled my contract yet � just requested the migration code thing. Twats. I can�t be arsed arguing though. Or maybe I can. I�ll see how the mood takes me when I�ve had my lunch. So anyway I�ll knock a quick one out here, entry wise, because I�ll not be able to finish off at home like what I often do.
This used to irk the chuff out of me every time I walked past it thinking that he must know there�s a better way of saying that. I was tempted to go in and ask for a pint of stuff and a packet of things to enjoy in the outside bit, but I didn�t totally fancy being stabbed in the face with a broken beer glass so didn't.
I reckon there was a eureka moment in the middle of the night with him straddled over his wife shaking her awake shouting �Beer garden at rear damn it! Why didn�t I think of that before� whilst rummaging for his chalk. Not in his wife. Though... handy. He does want kicking in a bit though for selling tea and coffee in a pub.
There probably should be some incredibly clever witticism for that or something but I can�t think of anything that doesn�t involve being backscuttled.
Did I offer cash prizes for guessing what Chris broke? Oh. Good job no one said wrist then, eh? Ahem. Sadly not his penis which would have made much more sense from a usage perspective. He�s actually buggered his wrist like a goodun. He went for an op yesterday to have a metal plate, pins and springs put in. His fingers look (even more) like fat little radishes. Never a good sign when the surgeon tells you the operation will be �challenging�.
The neighbours told me what actually happened when they beckoned me round to look at the blood stain in the hallway on Monday night. He�d invited himself in to their house and was going round telling them how different it was to ours. Exactly opposite in fact. Then coming downstairs he just sort of flew forward from the top step, missed every stair and landed against the door at the bottom. He was very very drunk. Stupid little cunt could have broken his neck.
He doesn�t remember a great deal of it, which is just as well as while he was lying in a heap at the bottom of the stairs with the girl stroking his arse while they waited for the ambulance, he told them that he knew them better than they thought as he could hear them having sex. Oh, and that he liked to pleasure himself while they did. I suppose there's a certain irony that it was his wrist he broke then. I do need to pick my moment when I tell him that for best effect. I think Kevin and Mark would both appreciate being there.
The neighbour actually asked if I could hear them shagging since my bedroom is the other side of the wall to theirs. I opted for tact and said that I was a heavy sleeper, and not: Do you know I can, and on a good night I swear I can even hear ball slapping.
My boss is off for 2 weeks from Monday. This very much pleases me.
2:20 p.m. - 2008-07-04
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