randomrabbit's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Farting in your general direction Whores. Would be the answer to what made the path up the bank from the entry I wrote about 19 years ago. Because in the charming little cunt of an area where I work, the inhabitants are either shooting 16 year old boys in the head or up against trees with vehicularly challenged, erm, clients? I�ve been the good apple fairy this weekend � skipping about the place spreading apple-based joy after I finally decided to climb my apple tree and pillage its fruity wares. After the 6th carrier bag full, the question �what the fuck am I going to do with 6 carrier bags full of apples?� snuck to mind so I�ve been giving them away to all and sundry, whether they wanted them or not frankly. Would you see it as odd behaviour if your neighbour, who has lived there about 8 months but you�ve never actually seen or talked to, dumped a bag of apples on your doorstep in the wee hours with a silly little note? Yes, me too. But she�s old and seems nice as I here her talking to my little Lilypie in the garden, so I thought it might be a nice way to say hello! Shut up. I�m also hoping she picks up on the undertone in the note, which is essentially �Hello old lady. Here are some apples, now please make me pie�. I�m slightly concerned though that I might have left the bag where she can come out of her door and fall over it. But then I think I wouldn�t be that stupid. But then I think actually yes I am that stupid and a fractured hip is no-one�s friend and is probably unlikely to inspire her to cook me pie. It turns out Chris has other uses other than owing me cash, being a lazy twat and generally annoying the tits off me. Who�d have thought? He won tickets to see Spamalot, so last Monday we buggered off to London so see how many bags of cash we could spend on On Tuesday I dumped Chris for the afternoon and finally met up with my beautiful Christy and her adorable daughter, K! As close as we are and as much as we talk, I�ve never actually met her in the actual flesh before! I am, I have to admit, a little socially peculiar, so the fact that I didn�t poke, lick, smell or employ any other strange means of verifying her non-imaginaryness I see as quite an achievement! Though any licking I think would have been down to her looking so delicious! We went for lunch at The Rainforest Caf�, which I enjoyed far more than a normal adult probably should enjoy eating with animatronic, slightly schizophrenic gorillas. We then found a pub for a drink and let Chris know where to find us before we moved to a nice little outside bar at a hotel. So right about now last week I was having the most wonderful time being silly, getting drunk and probably spending far too much time talking to Christy�s boobs! If it had actually been my intention to ply her with alcohol and get her to miss the last train home so she had no option but to stay in my room in order to have my naughty way with her, I would have made sure I booked a decent hotel and not the pokey little wank-hole we stayed in. And got Chris his own room! As it was they had to stay in our crappy room with me and Chris, probably snoring and farting all night. Poor girls! We had fun though, watching crappy late night telly and then trying sneakily (and failing miserably in our sneakiness!) to do, erm, stuff! So yes, a wonderful wonderful 24 hours that made me really happy. Also a bit sad. 8:41 p.m. - 2007-10-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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