randomrabbit's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cranky halfwit tosspot No fruit or yoghurt or anything equally flingable that I can throw in my bag while running round the house in a morning, so cheese and Branston Pickle sandwiches for lunch this week. The breakfast repercussions being that I have to go down a Weetabix route and not the preferred peanut butter (crunchy) on toast, as there isn�t enough bread for both, which in turn is having an adverse impact on milk levels (Weetabix do suck it up so). Causality, eh! Do you ever do that thing when someone says something a bit weird that they do and you get excited because you do it too and you think you have an ally, and you�re all: �yes yes yes, I dab the end of my willy with toilet paper too to avoid uncomely piss drips.� And then you realise you got the wrong end of the stick or they were being silly and didn�t mean it or something and you get all embarrassed and skulk away? I went to Whitby over the bank holiday weekend with Kev and the entire population of Middlesbrough. It was nice, just a little crowded for my liking. We got there at the end of folk week, sadly, so managed to miss all the clog and morris dancing. There were signs saying organised events only, effectively banning all spontaneous dance, so we skulked around the backstreets for a while hoping to stumble upon a clandestine gathering of rebel morrisers pissing on the rule book. A few years ago maybe, but these days it�s all too commercial and the radicals have been pushed out. They just don�t care about the dance any more!(!) I was oddly pleased to see that, even though Whitby is all pretty and stuff, it has a chav infestation like the rest of us and a Slags Aplenty Limo Hire franchise so women on hen nights there have something to flash their tits out of. I came back with many kippers for everyone because, well, I�m kind like that and really, what else is there to bring back from Whitby? Well apart from the chocolate fish I bought for my mum so she didn�t feel left out and the Daniel O�Donnel salt and pepper shakers I got for my aunty. I bought a couple for the MD as I know he�s partial, but there was a pile of crap on my desk which, given it�s on my desk, I assume at some point I�ll be expected to do something with, so I withheld his kippers temporarily pending clarification re the crap situation, but as he never mentioned it I gave them to my dad instead. You should think yourselves lucky that I don�t have your addresses because they post them out you know, so you�d have all got one through your letterboxes. Look, I�m sorry, I�m closed emotionally and can only express how I feel about someone through smoked fish. Bed? Fuck yes, I think so. 11:02 p.m. - 2007-08-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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