randomrabbit's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- No don't leave - I've just fondued my testicles What the fuck does Neneh Cherry know about cooking? No I don�t know either. They�ll stick any old cunt on the telly these days. Pfft, I have nothing to write now I�m at my desk so I figure I�ll just write about stuff that comes on tv. I thought the Hairy Bikers were on, but they�re not. The Apprentice is though. Alan Sugar called them the country�s finest young minds. Oh yes, never were a finer bunch of cocks ever assembled. Who but a massive twat would want to work for Amstrad? Unless of course you were transported back to their heyday in 1985, probably in some sort of cheap looking plasticy Amstrad Time Traveller Plus machine with tape drive AND floppy disk. Get A Grip seems to be Ben Elton trying to convince us he�s still funny by reading from a script. A waste I think. Surely the part of his brain that brought us Black Adder and the Young Ones must still be twitching away somewhere deep beneath all the women's lib comedy routines and the musical bollocks. ITV shouldn�t be allowed to do comedy. It never works. Or news. Meh, fuck it - anything. There was a sign on the playground in the park this morning that said �Have you lost a football? Call ��. Maybe I just have my cynical trousers on as to why someone would go to the bother of printing signs just for a football they�d found, so I read that as �Paedophile likes young boys. Please phone for ice cream and willy touching�. My bedroom carpet is 2 gloriously ugly shades of brown. My opinions on floor coverings are many and varied and thus leads me to the conclusion that I give such things far too much thought. My settee is the colour of a haemorrhoid. The Super 8s stage of the Cricket World Cup is tremendously dull. It gains a bit of momentum through the group stage then it's all lost in the Super 8s when they spend about a gazillion years fannying around getting every twat to play every other twat and you end up not giving a shit anymore and wishing it was over or that the Pakistanis would come back and murder someone just to add a bit of spice. Go straight to the quarter-finals, finish 3 weeks early and piss off home. Yes. I�ve been tucking in to a massive Easter egg while I wrote this, but shush don�t tell Brian. He won it at a raffle at the pub but didn�t want it so gave it my mum but she didn�t want it so gave it me, and I�m a fat bastard so I ate it. What is it about Easter egg chocolate that tastes so nice? I claim to not really like chocolate but apparently that�s a big fucking lie. If anyone would like to come round and give my stiff neck a massage it would be very much appreciated? I�ll reimburse your bus fare or plane ticket or whatever. Kev�s just had a new bathroom fitted and he�s kindly promised me the inaugural dump. He offered it as an incentive to free it all up down there when I had my problem! We�re going to make a bit of an occasion out of it with a ribbon cutting ceremony and probably some Lambrusco. 10:55 p.m. - 2007-04-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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