randomrabbit's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Spaceman sitting on a biscuit I�m sat at work bored off my bollocks, staring at a blank Word document hoping for some inspiration. So far the only thing I�ve been inspired to do is eat my banana like it�s corn on the cob. I haven�t had a poo since Saturday. Also the last time I saw Chris. I thought I wanted to go earlier but, alas, it turned out to be just a big echoey fart. Went to the local pub on Saturday, which sad sad sad man that I am I timed to be 1 minute 43 seconds away from the house. There�s another one 2 minutes 24 away. The twat across the road was in there - the jolly fellow with whom I had the argument about parking a couple of weeks ago, which given neither me or Chris have cars was somewhat bewildering. He was supping by himself and when he left he shouted bye to the bar staff and they all ignored him. Good. I find pals to be really handy to stop you looking pathetic when you go out for a pint. It�s not a bad little pub for a local. We played snooker very badly then played darts even worse. Assuming subtraction to be a little optimistic for 11 on a Saturday night we played round the board but an hour later we still hadn�t finished so decided that darts isn�t as much fun as we thought. I went for a walk the Sunday before last and got my directions a little wonky. I didn�t get lost but I somehow ended up exactly where I didn�t expect to be. I was aiming for Ecclesall Woods and came out somewhat baffled at Bradway. That sounds like a lonely-hearts ad: Baffled of Bradway seeks directionally competent blonde with tits the size of cantaloupes and thighs like mahogany banisters. This week I was going to borrow Chris�s sat nav that he won at work but I took my dad instead, who has all the benefits of sat nav but also knows where there�s a handy place to pee should you be caught short (though to be honest that was to his benefit not mine) and what the different types of ducks are on the pond at Beauchief. I finally seem to be getting stuff sorted at the new place. I�ve got most of my boxes unloaded, nipped the shovel�s odd behaviour in the ovary and had her spayed, am slowly learning to stand well clear of the shower head when waiting for the hot water to come through so I don�t get a jet of cold water shooting up my scrotum from the back of it, and I�m managing to locate the cutlery draw in four or fewer attempts. The 4-day weekend will be most welcome. 4:43 p.m. - 2007-04-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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