randomrabbit's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- They took all the tits, put �em in a tit museum Hello! And if you�re one of our little brown friends: Happy Ramadan. I saw you there having that crafty biscuit. How would one categorise a tit museum? Size seems the obvious way to go but a bit dull maybe to see the big knockers all together? Just booked to go and see the deliciously lovely Lucy Porter in a few weeks because It was U2 last week with Chris. I didn�t have time to whittle up my long distance slapping tool, which is a fucking shame as we were too far away for lobbing bottles of piss and something was required to strike the preachy cunt to stop him shitting out his bollocks. We nearly got to the end before he started the lecture, and then I became like a shouty drunk yelling out obscenities before realising the rest of the people around me might be there because they actually like him and not because you dragged your mate all the way to Birmingham to see P J Harvey and this was his revenge. I promptly shut up fearing being kicked to death by a load of fans and, even worse, a whole stadium full of people being simultaneously patronised by some pseudo intellectual gobshite with delusions of anyone actually giving a fuck, sticking a pole with my picture on it up his own arse in a deep and meaningful only in Bono�s head protest against himself for getting people kicked to death at his concerts. Speaking of whittling, my next door neighbour whittled his own shillelagh in Ecclessall Woods. He showed it to me once in our back yard while he was using it to whack a rug. The neighbours are moving out in a couple of months, which I�m a bit gutted about. I like them a lot and far better than the thick as shit relentless shaggers that were there before. I�ve never once heard these 2 going at it, which isn�t to say they don�t; just if they do he has the common decency to gag the bitch We share a yard at the back and the gardens just have a path separating them so it's been good we get on. We have a bit of kibbutz type thing going on with the veg we grow, but since we�re both really shit at growing stuff it�s not been all that successful to be honest. The courgettes have definitely done the best. I picked 8 yesterday, but I�m now running out of things to do with them. They�re fairly relentless so you have to use them straight away or you get another 8 the next day so you�ve got 16 of the chuffs to then try and use. I�ve made courgette lasagnes, courgette moussaka, courgette quiche and even had the little sods on toast (Nicer than it sounds. Honest). Apart from the courgettes (which do have mildew) my peppers are covered in whitefly, my carrots have caterpillars, my tomatoes and potatoes got blight and the slugs are drinking all my beer. I don�t know, you try to do your bit and be a bit more self-sufficient and Mother Nature quite literally craps in your vegetable bed. Though that may have been next door�s cat. They�re getting chickens at their new place, which made me smile. Their 10 month old child thing can baby-stare at my girls for hours so they don�t want him to miss them. 4:56 p.m. - 2009-08-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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