Her fingers smelled of Coco Pops

Buying less and not spending as much on things means you have more money. Also, selling something of value for an amount means you have that amount to spend on something else or save. Thank you Money Saving Expert. Where would we all be without you gobshitting out the obvious? A pretty pickle I’m sure.

I have nothing to do. That’s a lie and a fib, I have lots to do I’m just not doing it. I’d lost a load of underpants for a few days but I just found them under some other stuff. I’m exhausted now from all the excitement.

Oh wow - Amanda Holden becomes a country singer. I honestly believe television can’t get any worse. Turn off the signal, stop the satellites, we’re there - the echoey cave of wankitude has finally been wiped clean.

I just made some mince pies that I was going to make at Christmas but decided it would probably be too much fannying about with a broken wrist. I’m not that fussed about mince pies but I’m incredibly bored and seeing the jar of mincemeat every time I opened the cupboard was starting to annoy me. I made some mini beef Wellington things as well but with pork instead of beef. A minced pork in fact with herbs and onion. Ok so technically they might be classed as sausage rolls if you wanted to be picky. Bloody nice they are though.

Ooh Piers Morgan. Tuesday night is twat night on ITV

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